Throwback Thursday or....TWILIGHT ZONE????

True Story!  I've been sick for the past 3 days (Note to you men: "It's a WOMAN thing - you wouldn't understand!") and yesterday I dragged myself into my doctor's office.  When I walked in, this older woman looked up from her magazine and gave me the once over.  Taking in my lipstick-only bare face, FILA-esque tracksuit, Dookie braids, Chuck Taylor All Stars, and Old Skool "Cazelle" glasses (thrown in for good measure), she nodded as if in approval.  Then she....smiled.  And stopped me instantly in my tracks.  Noting her own light grey acid washed jeans (I think we called them "stonewashed" back in the day), grey MEMBERS ONLY-esque jacket, shaggy hair colored by Dark & Lovely #1992, and a singular GOLD TOOTH in the middle of her mouth, I nodded back and went about my business.  The ladies at the front desk looked at each as if they were about to witness a real, live Old Skool DANCE OFF http://youtu.be/svsLt5QcuQY . Hilarious.

The thing is: I'm not sure if that actually happened or if it was the delirium from being sick, but nonetheless....thank you, old skool lady, for providing a much needed laugh.  Somehow, I think I know that somewhere she is nodding "right back atcha, girlfriend. Right back atcha."

#paralleluniversefromthe90'sindeed  

Lions, Tigers, and Dreds - Oh My!!!!

  

I have braids!!!  Or perhaps....dreds!!!  But really, they're twists.  On a whim I decided to do my hair  last week.  I started around 7 pm and it took me about 5.5 hours to finish.  I used the Model Model braid "Marley" synthetic braiding hair and I used 7 (gasp!) packs of hair.  Yes folks - I did say seven!!!  It took so much because I myself have so much hair.  The braids do allthe way down to my butt and rather than burn the ends, I left them slightly raggedy.  I actually like that because it has a kind of earthy, organic look and feel to it.  I was initially going for Janet Jackson in "Poetic Justice" braids, or even 90's reggae rapper Patra - FAIL!!!!  As you can see, I ended up w/ newly-married-and-just-returned-from Africa-with-stepdaughter-in-tow-Denise Huxtable Kendall, which was my least favorite look that Lisa Bonet rocked on Cosby Show.  Little did I know.....

 

Btw: Don't let the "dreds" fool you - the RED EYES (in the above pic) are solely due to a lack of sleep and no makeup.

I'm on the fence with this hairstyle, I gotta be honest.  I wake up with a sore neck because it's hard to sleep with these thick, heavy "ropes".  I may keep them in another 1-2 weeks, and then I think I'll be visiting my girl HADNEY the Haitian Hair Artist Extraordinaire  (http://www.iamthatchica.blogspot.com/2012/12/757s-best-kept-secret.html) for my annual blowout and trim.

* What do you think, ladies - is this style a DO or a DON'T?  Let me know.  I can take it.  :)

Turns out we DON'T need a resolution. Sorry Aaliyah.

They say "rules are made to be broken", right?  Thatis yet another reason why I don't make New Year's resolutions.  For most many people, the same "lose weight, save many, stop procrastinating" resolutions made last year, will be made again this year, only to be repeated the following year.  Sure, we set a multitude of resolutions, but how in the world do we get the mastery over them?  How do we attain them?

Let me be clear: this is not a "secret of my success" blog post.  Certainly, if I was successful at achieving all my "lose weight, save money, stop procrastinating" goals, if you will, I would not have chosen the above image for this post.  But rather than enumerate a laundry list of things needing to be worked on, I merely have one goal for 2013:

• BECOME A BETTER ME.  A BETTER CHICKI TEE.

In the past, I have set goals and I have met goals, indeed.  But this year, rather than itemizing each and everything that I want to achieve and attain, I'm just going to focus on the end result.  Rather than break down each individual chapter, I'm going to focus on the book as a whole.  By focusing on becoming a better me, the best me, I will inevitably work on the individual 'chapters' that need attention.  This way, the whole will be greater than the sum of its parts.  Let's have a great year, ladies!

Dumb Blonde

2012 was not a great year for me.  I made a lot of stupid mistakes in 2012.  A lot of dumb mistakes.  I put myself through a lot of needless, unnecessary heartache just by making dumb mistakes.  I made some bad decisions.  I fell in love.  But I tried to make something fit that did not fit.  And I ignored the cardinal rule: DO NOT TRUST YOUR HEART.  That was the #1 dumbest mistake I made in 2012.  Let me explain.... 

When facing big decisions, oftentimes the mind and the heart are at odds.  The mind tells you to go one way, while the heart tells you the complete opposite.  When you are at a crossroads, which one do you listen to?  Many times, the mind - using logic and reason - gives you the right answer.  The correct answer.  The best answer.  But because we are human, that's not the answer that we're looking for.  That's not what we want to hear.  We don't want what is good for us, we want what feels good to us.  The heart wants what it wants, right?  A deeply flawed statement that should never be touted as gospel.  I shant preach to you, but there is a reason that Biblically we are warned "the heart is treacherous and is desperate - who can know it?" (Jere. 17:9) 

The definition of treacherous?  "Guilty of or involving betrayal or deceit, marked by hidden danger".  How can the heart betray you?  By "wanting what it wants."   Your heart can fool you into believing that the object of your affection is good for you, when in reality it is anything but.  In the beginning, it all looks good (hidden danger) and everything is lovely and great. But eventually, those warning signs go off and the danger alarms start blaring louder and louder...  and you can choose to listen or ignore.  But really - would you "follow" a person that you knew was desperate or treacherous?  That you knew was deceitful or would end up betraying you?  A person who is desperate is reckless and will do a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. to get what they want.  A person who is deceitful is a l.i.a.r.  If you knew that about a person, would you still "follow" them?  (Is anyone else picturing Samuel L. Jackson as the filthy crack addict desperately trying to score his next fix in the movie "Jungle Fever"?  Just me?  Okay....)

Honestly, sometimes following your heart yields disasterous results.  Fortunately for me, I didn't go too far so the results were not quite as bad as they could have been.  But as mentioned, I did put myself through needless and unnecessary pain and heartache.  And a heart that is finding it hard to let go.

I'm trying something new in 2013.  2013 is all about the brainpower.  Sure, we all make human dumb decisions from time to time, but I refuse to let an entire year be marked by one.  I am not a dumb person.  So really then, I guess I'm not trying "something new" in 2013.  I'm just going back to my roots.

KAT VON D - YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, let me explain the 75 exclamation points.  Kat Von D, the lovely tattoo freak artist who notoriously slept with Sandra Bullock's husband, YOU SKANK, is a genius!  And I'm not one to go throwing the G word around lightly, I might add.  Ms. Von D has found a way to invent attach her name to a brilliant foundation that seems more like...the Un-foundation.  Her Lock-It Tattoo foundation is genius.  As in...GENIUS.  Amazing.  Brilliant.  I want to die wearing it.  Seriously, I mean, none of that embalming stuff - gimmee the Kat Von D Lock-it Tattoo stuff and I'll be good.  (Though technically,....not.)

Anyway, I should explain that I am not a foundation person at all.  Though I clearly  (as in...clearly) need the coverage, I hate the way foundation feels on my face.  Like my skin can't breathe or something.  I always opt out and go with concealer and powder instead, though I always regret the decision in pictures later.  But I was going out of town over the weekend for a special event, and I wanted to look more polished.  Because I had seen and read great things about this foundation, I stopped by Sephora and picked up a sample.  The first thing I noticed upon using it the first day of my event was the texture.  I could barely get it of the tiny tiny plastic sample bottle I was given.  After finally coaxing it out with gentle words ("please please, you gorgeous foundation, come outta there.  I have to be at this event in twenty minutes? Please?  You can do it.  I'll be your best friend...."), I opted to use my fingers to apply it.  Fingers because the tiny amount that did come out was not enough to apply with a brush or sponge ("you promised you'd come out of the bottle - you slut - is this the best you could do?").  Anyway, turns out you only need the tiniest amount ("there there. I'm sorry...") because this stuff means business.  It covered so well I decided against using concealer, though I slightly regretted that later in pictures.  Not only did this foundation not feel heavy or look cakey, it wore all day long.  I mean, I didn't have to touch up or use powder in the 10+ hours I was wearing it.

  Foundation worn, in sunlight, at 9AM. (You can see why I regretted not using concealer under the eyes, eh?)

 

And back at the hotel....foundation is STILL in place around 7:00 later that evening.  I literally did not have to touch up or apply powder in all that time.  It felt like my own skin so much I even forgot I had it on.  Unfortunately, as you can see, the HAIR didn't hold up quite as well...I ask that you please forgive the bad bangs (self-mutilation) and fried texture....

So in conclusion, ladies, I will say this: RUN...DO NOT WALK...to Sephora and either pick up a sample or just shell out that $34 for a bottle, as I will be doing in precisely 1 hour.  Again, tipping the hat to you, Ms. Von D - YOU ROCK, chica!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

757's Best Kept Secret

ATTENTION LADIES IN THE 757.....

Ok, I showed you pics of my hair in it's natural state.  I showed you pics of my hair with my favorite products in it.  Now let me introduce you to my other 'hair secret', previously referenced as "dream stylist extraordinaire": HADNEY ALEXANDER.

 Check the shoes, yo!

Hadney, aka The Haitian Hair Artist Extraordinaire is The Bomb Dot Com.  Truthfully, this girl is the TRUTH.  You can look @ her own hair and see that she is not playing around - she means business.  Look @ this chick's hair:



GOR-GEOUS.  No weave, no relaxer, just one seriously fly blowout!!!  I should mention that this Haitian Hair Artist Extraordinaire has done my hair since waaay back in the day, when she was only about 16 (and you know I'm still "forever 21" so you do the math) and braiding my hair in her mama's kitchen.  And ladies - WE ALL KNOW ABOUT THOSE KITCHEN BEAUTICIANS, don't we?  The one's who've been doing hair since they came out of the crib - they make the best stylists, yo!  When I say that Hadney is The Truth, I mean...The Truth.  As in Paul Pierce the Truth (Boston Celtics reference, if you're green).  If you don't believe me, believe your eyes:

Me at her salon November 2011 - check out the Knatty Dread, mon:



HADNEY, the Haitian Hair Artist Extraordinaire, handed me a glass of wine, and over pleasantly hilarious conversation, fearlessly worked her magic, undeterred by my tougher-than-Nigerian-hair.  A little bit of this, a little bit of that, some extra Haitian spices for good measure (kidding) and I had one seriously fly cut and blowout.  (And all without the stench of burning hair wafting in the air of so many of those Dominican salons.  No diss - I, too, use to frequent them but even MY tougher-than-Nigerian-hair could not take all that heat.)  Take a look at my "seriously fly haircut and blowout":

 Check out that SHINE, yo!  It's not the camera flash - it's those Haitian spices my girl uses. Lol.

Honestly, I cannot say enough good things about Hadney Alexander.  As a hair artist, she is The Truth.  As a person, she is the genuine article.  The little lady with the BIG PERSONALITY.  She has a Kimora Simmons FABULOSITY about her, but without all the "sickening" that is Kimora Simmons.  If you live in the Hampton Roads area, or will be visiting the area, you.simpy.must. check out this Hair Artist Extraordinaire:

Hadney Alexander
Bradcon Int'l Hair Salon
(757) 717-2346
http://hadneyalexander.com/bio.html






 

Show & Prove (Shortest.Post.Ever)

So many pictures, so little words.  Lesgo:




Love the JBCO/Mango Cupuacu combo. Nicely moisturized, nicely defined ringlets.  Even better (and bigger) when hair is further separated.