"And a Real Man Just Can't Deny...a Woman's Worth."

I just saw a quote that read: "You shouldn't have to fight for a spot in someone's life. Never force someone to make a space in their life for you, because if they know your worth, they will create one for you."

Well said.  However, if YOU know YOUR worth, you will not wait for them to figure it out. Layman's terms: He's not checking for you, boo. Stop checking for him.

TAG Time - Round 2 (*in Apollo Creed's voice: "Ding.Ding.")

Ok, it's tag time again. Also known as "SlamBook" revisited. Let's get to it, shall we?

1. If you had to choose a world without fashion or a world without music, which would you choose ?  

Without question - a world without fashion.  Fashion is subjective but music is everything. There is so much power in music - the power to transform a person's moods and emotions, transport them to far-flung countries, the power to heal, and is just very necessary to my personal existence.

2. Have you accomplished any of your life goals? 

Yes. Deliberately evasive.  And I'm working on accomplishing more. Three to be specific.

3. What's the meaning of LOVE to you?

1 Cor. 13 aside, LOVE is "the soul's recognition of it's counterpoint in another". Thank you WEDDING CRASHERS.  Love is being with a person that you are comfortable being yourself around. Being and seeing one at their best and their worst and still wanting more, having someone's back and knowing they have your's as well, handing your heart over to someone else and trusting that they will do right by it. Love is honest. Love is raw. Love is uninhibited. Love is looking out for the other person's interests before those of your own. Love is not shallow, it is very deep.  Love is reciprocol. Love is demonstrative.  Love is exposing yourself as vulnerable but liking the feeling nonetheless.  Love is hard work.  Anything worth having involves hard work. Love is up and down and all over the place, yet stable nonetheless. Basically, look up the lyrics to Prince's song "Adore" and there you will find a perfect definition of love.

4. If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be? 

Hmmm,...that's a tough one.  Maybe Portugal. Or Trinidad.

5. Who's the biggest inspiration in your life right now?

ME.  I have been stagnant for a minute, but I am now moving in a direction that I really like.  I am
taking control of "the controllables" and I am growing as a person and it feels really really good.  I am proud to say that I am inspiring myself.

6. What's your favorite thing about blogging? 

I used to be a somewhat closed and guarded person due to a few trust issues.  Blogging has allowed me to open up and expose my vulnerability and learn to trust more.  Even though I have a small blog, I can see the personal growth that has come from blogging.  I also like communicating with other bloggers/readers.

7. What's your favorite thing out of anything you own? 

Hmm,...that's a tough one.  If my house was burning and I could only save one thing (family aside), I don't really know what it would be.  One of my (seven hundred or so) JOURNALS maybe.

8. Do you believe in fate?

Absolutely not.

9. What's your favorite song? 

Prince's "ADORE".  Hands down - best.song.ever.  As in ever.  Pure unadulterated raw emotion in that song.  Those lyrics ("until the end of time, I'll be there for you. You own my heart and mind, I truly adore you...."

10. Jeans or dresses ? 

Hands down, dresses.  While definitely not prissy, I am a girly girl and I have always loved dresses.  And heels.

11. What's your favorite food?  Steak.  Specifically RIBEYE.  Favorite type of food is Caribbean.  Or really any dish involving a rice and bean - I'm a rice and bean chick from waaay back. (though I usually discard the bean. I love the taste the beans give but hate the texture.)

Penny Loves Kenny

Celebrating Your Losses = SHOPPING!!!!

Cutting Your Losses = SHOPPING!!!!

I lost 8 pounds over the last week and a half - WOO HOO!!!  Go me. But at the same time, I also lost someone in my life that I really cared about.  Awww... (tears) (not a story for the blog) So after shedding my first and last tear of 2012 (one can only hope), yesterday I found myself at TJ Maxx, Marshall's and Ross's for a little RETAIL THERAPY.  Then I remembered I'm on a strict budget as I'm trying to move in the next 2-3 months, so I couldn't do too much damage. crap.  But guess what?  At Ross I found a pair beautiful nude shoes on the cheap!  I generally don't care for cork heels, but these were so girly and cute that I could not resist.  I'm working on getting my body ready for warmer weather and all things sundresses so why not, right?  And the $16.99 price tag?  Even better.  

Letting go is hard.  So is love.  But Penny loves Kenny.  And so did/does Chicki. :-(

Changing my game in 2012

I do.  I will.  I am.

"Viva La Vida"

"I used to rule the world...seas would rise when I gave the word...now in the morning I sleep alone...sweep the streets that I used to own." - Coldplay ("Viva La Vida")

I know a guy who had a good job writing for the local newspaper.  Evidently he was not living his dream and decided to follow his true passion doing something else.  He quit his job, moved away, and is now working in his chosen field.  His Facebook status update is as follows:

"Wow!  It's been two years since I decided to change everything!  I took control of my unhappiness and started a new life!  It was scary, challenging, painful and confusing at first and now...the best thing I ever did.  I'm so much stronger than I ever knew and you probably are too but you'll never know until you get off your a55..."


This may be a big "duhhh" to some and not profound at all, but I found it to be very inspiring.  Exactly what I needed to hear on this 2nd day of 2012.  I went to the beach today for a workout on the sand, which by the way, is quite a workout.  Running/fitness walking on sand is no joke - my thighs were/are killing me!  Anyway, as I walked while listening to Coldplay's "The Scientist" and "Viva La Vida" on repeat on the ipod, I kept reflecting on his words.  The ability to take a scary, painful challenge and turn it into something beautiful   (and very necessary) is within my power.  "A change [ain't] gon' come" unless I make it happen.  Fortunately for me, I'm that chica who accepts all challenges.  I am sooo looking forward to 2012.  Let's get it!

"Everything In It's Right Place" (radiohead)

I'm trying to become less wordy and more succinct in 2012.  That may be slightly difficult for a gal like me, being as I'm the poster child for ADULT ADD and all, but no worries - I'm always down for a dare and I accept all challenges.  Anyhoo, in the quest for brevity, I'll just say this: I accomplished some pretty decent goals in 2011, but 2012 will be even.better.  I only have 3 goals I plan to accomplish:

1. GET MOVING (weight loss. enough said. i started the day off w/ a workout. only 364 days to go....)
2. GET PAID (plain and simple: i need more money. my 9-5 alone is not cutting it. fortunately i have a plethora of "money-making" creative skills/talent that i can turn into a profitable hustle...i just have to do it. for real. stay focused and stay the course)
3. GET OUT (i need to move in 2012. i have to move in 2012. i'm ready to move in 2012. ain't nothing to it but to do it. for real.)

And that's it folks. That's all I'm working towards in 2012.  Anything else that comes is a bonus. Let's get it.

* What do you plan on accomplishing in 2012?

The Last Boy Scout - A Conversation

His reticence to answer the question was the only answer she needed.  It spoke volumes.  Perhaps it really had not been her business, but he could have given her something.  He could've said "three months ago".  He could've said "last month" or even "last night", though in truth, the latter would have been unacceptable.  She probed further.  A wall, he firmly resolved to say nothing.  Finally, after a long, deafening silence, he shrugged and snapped, "Look, I'm no Boy Scout..."

She fell.  Inwardly.  Although she, for a certainty, had long been a card-carrying, cookie-selling member of the Girl Scouts, for sure - she had not expected a Boy Scout.  Nor had she expected his irritance.  She had simply wanted an answer, preferably one that began with the words "before I met you, baby".  But he had not said that.  Nor anything even remotely similar to that.  A mere "nunya" and sarcasm was all that he offered up.  His words stung, though just a little.  She had thought the question appropriate.  She was rusty in her relationship skills, no doubt, but hadn't this been standard conversation?  She wondered if he was hiding something.  She wondered what the real answer to her question was, and whether it would have been accompanied by a story if given.  Or worse - an explanation.  She sighed.  She had been nosey, and he had been right - it was his story. Thus, not her business.  She smiled, remembering his pretty eyes and cute smile.  No, she would not lose sleep over this.  She would, however, keep a watchful eye on her Thin Mints and Samoas.